I haven't posted to this account in ages, mostly because this year has mostly just oscillated between me being sick, playing Genshin Impact/Honkai: Star Rail, or both.

But now that the 60th anniversary for Doctor Who is within spitting distance, I'm getting back into the headspace I need to actually make my way through the rest of the Wilderness Years content (including the TV movie) I finish the undertaking I first started back in 2017. I've also held off on rewatching much of New Who until I finish this, so I'm looking forward to doing a big rewatch of that at some point, though I don't think I'll do a story-by-story review like I did for the Classic series (though maybe I'll write something).

Haven't been motivated to write much in general. I've tried gassing myself up a couple of times the past couple of years only to further fill my files with unfinished drafts. I'd like to polish off a couple of them before the year ends but we'll see. A couple of the most promising ones, in my opinion, are for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I haven't been in that headspace at all the past year. It was also partially fueled by Tumblr, which I haven't used much this year because I'm avoiding spoilers for all the TV and anime I haven't been watching.

Twitter is dying. I made a Bluesky account but it's still invite only so not a ton of people are on it yet.

Overall in the past week or so I've managed to make serious headway with the major mental hangups I've been dealing with this year, and I'm in a much better headspace going into the fall even though I have basically no plans as of writing this. Less pressure I suppose.

Didn't end up going through my Doctor Who watch plans on the anniversary because I spent most of November sick. First because of some random fall sickness that kept me low level fatigued for like two weeks, and then shortly after that I got my bivalent Covid Booster and then, like a moron, immediately did an outside activity that worsened the side-effect symptoms considerably. I think I'm okay now, but saying as much feels like tempting fate.

I spent the past week or so rewatching a bunch of Disney and Pixar movies - mostly ones I've watched within the past couple of years. The ones where its been longer feel like they deserve more attention that being on in the background while I'm doing something else... but that's how I got through a lot of the MCU stuff so maybe I should let that go.

It's also officially December so I feel more comfortable binging Holiday stuff. I kind of let Halloween fizzle this year since I had a hard time getting into the mood and I ended up being sick that week, so it would be nice to have some Holiday cheer before the gaping maw of winter inevitably sends me into another seasonal depression.

Haven't posted in ages because for about a month and a half I was crazy busy and in the last couple of weeks I've been doing basically nothing. Though I'll probably have more to post in the coming months as I finally get into Wilderness Years Doctor Who content and the Centenary Special gets closer.

I'm in a weird mental headspace that's definitely not burnout. I experienced that in spades back in the winter. It's more like restlessness I guess? Like there's so much I want to do but can never seem to find the time to actually do it? It doesn't help that my sleep schedule is the worst its been in years the past couple of weeks, and try as I might I cannot seem to fix it.

☆ Television: I've been keeping up with Drag Race the past few weeks but that's really about it as far as Western TV goes. I'm also technically watching Roswell New Mexico but I'm very behind on it, though I do want to get caught up sooner rather than later because it is the final season. I managed to stay current with the final season of Legacies and it was definitely worth the investment.

☆ Anime: The tradeoff to not watching much regular TV is that I'm finally watching anime again! I go through phases where I watch I ton for a while and then none for months at a time, and it feels nice to get caught up with certain shows and get reminded how much I actually do love the medium. This current resurgence is definitely thanks to My Dress-Up Darling. Now I just need to do my rewatch of The Devil is a Part-Timer! so I can actually start watching season 2.

☆ Gaming: It's mostly still just been Animal Crossing and Fortnite, though I recently replayed all of the first Danganronpa game on the Switch, and I loved it but also forgot how long those games are. I was gonna replay the second game right after but I'm taking a bit of a break from it because it's a huge time suck. I have played some more of Wandersong as well and it is a delight, and I want to set aside a day this month in order to play though even more of it. Biggest serotonin boost I've had in a while.

I haven't been super inspired to write lately - bad things happening in the world will do that - but with how this summer has gone I'm hopeful for a creatively fulfilling trajectory this fall (and maybe even a concentrated effort this year to do NaNo and finish up some stuff). I also have stuff I want to say about the concerts I've gone to but I think I'll save that for a different post.

It's been a hot minute since I've made a more casual post, and I want to start doing more of these instead of exclusively using this account for giant Doctor Who reviews or motivating myself to write fanfic.

☆ Writing: I started a bunch of fic drafts last year (and the year before) that I never got around to finishing. New mini-goal for 2022 is to finish at least some of those (and fill in more spaces on the 100ships challenge). Also lowkey wanna start writing some Fortnite fic (because I am a clown) but I'm probably gonna have to untangle the lore a little fic first even if I just end up writing about Jonesy getting dicked down lmao.

☆ Gaming: Been playing a lot more Animal Crossing and just got into the Happy Home Paradise expansion. I'm also still in Fortnite hell, and I've started playing some Indie Games on the Switch because of a sale they had towards the end of last year. So far I'm really digging Figment and Wandersong but I'm hoping to play more once I've finished with those.

☆ Television: I'm halfway through the most recent season of You, but honestly I haven't been that inspired to watch much Live Action TV the past month or so aside from Drag Race (and Queen of the Universe and Drag Race Italia were pretty big letdowns imo). I'm excited for the new US season but I really feel like I'm in a rut... which may not be a bad thing? I was consuming a lot of content for a very long time so I could probably stand to slow down a little.

☆ Movies: Encanto and Spider-Man: No Way Home were great, but - especially with the Omicron variant - my big return to watching movies hasn't really panned out. Even before that I never got around to watching Dune, and I did see Eternals but thought it was really bad. Trying to jazz myself up to watch The Matrix and Scream movies for the first time but so far no dice.

☆ Doctor Who: I really liked Eve of the Daleks, but I didn't think it was remarkably better or worse than Flux like a lot of the takes have been. (Though admittedly I guess I liked Flux more than most?) I'm currently wading my way through the "Lost Season" season 27 Big Finish audios, before I figure out how I'm gonna tackle the actual Wilderness Years content and the TV Movie. I also finally started The Edge of Reality... but the controls on Switch are kind of difficult (and it's very obvious that it was originally designed as a VR game) so I kind of haven't gotten back to it. Either way, I'm happy that I still have a wealth of content to get through considering the next two specials seem to be the only New Who we are gonna be getting for quite a while.

First day of writing and finishing up old draft fics for 100ships is going pretty well! I already have one done that just needs to be proofread (and possibly britpicked) and two more I've made good progress on (and I'm gonna try to knock out a little more in the next hour or so).

I also have a couple of outlines/ideas ready for Merlin Bingo, and I think I'll be able to pair one of them to count for 100ships as well. (Maybe more, but my sudden urge to write Merthur fic has taken me a bit by surprise). I'm impressed by how active the fandom community still is considering the show has been over for almost ten years, and I feel like I'm gonna end up rewatching a chunk of it within the next couple of months in order to refamiliarize myself with some of the characters' mannerisms and speaking patterns. I think a Buffy rewatch is pretty inevitable too, which works since I'd like to finish two drafts I wrote (and am really happy with) for my failed Buffyverse Bingo.

I also have some Hetalia drafts that are close to a decade old and still mostly read pretty well!. I have a multichapter that I started back in July 2011 that I only need to knock out one more chapter for, so that's another short-term goal for this summer. I think I need to specifically set aside a day to devote to just that though, since it'll require immersing myself back into the story (don't want any loose threads after all this time!). The new season of the anime has also put me in a much better headspeace to write for it than in the last few years.

On a semi-related note, my landlord recently put some patio tables and chairs out near the front of my building, so now I actually have a place where I can sit outside if I want. Today is the first day I've utilized it and I can see myself hanging out here a lot. I just wish it wasn't right next to main road.

Been ping-ponging back and forth between feeling really good and really shitty the past week, but as I'm writing this I just got back from walking around outside in warmish weather for the first time in ages, so I'm definitely at a high point right now.

I'm almost done with Canada's Drag Race and I'm not sure I understand the backlash to the judges being mean... when the backlash should have been to the judges doing a schtick all the time including when they're giving critiques. It comes off as messy more than anything. After that I just need to do Drag Race Holland and the second season of RuPaul's Drag Race UK and then I can finally watch the current season of the mothership and maybe even see the finale for it in real time. It's honestly nuts that I've been able to consume so much of such a huge franchise in such a short stretch of time.

Other than that not a lot is going on. A lot of my friends are finally getting vaccinated, though I only still have a vague idea of when I'll be eligible to sign up for one. My crappy mental health means I've fallen off my streak of exercising every day but I'm optimistic I'll be able to get back on it tonight. It also helps that, somehow, I haven't gained back any of the weight I did manage to lose last week so it feels like I am finally moving the needle.

Maybe I just need to spend less time on Twitter honestly, since I feel like a lot of my recent anxiety is because I'm defaulting back on my pre-pandemic habit of checking Twitter whenever I'm bored.

Managed to finally fix my sleep schedule and get on a cycle where i don't have to drug myself to get to sleep and set six alarms to get up, but it's also coinciding with things ramping up at work so I'm still feeling a bit tense. It's been one of the few times this past year where I think I would actually benefit from being at the office.

I feel like if I can manage to get back on some semblance of a consistent exercise routine it'll do wonders I just haven't quite been able to make it over that hump yet. It's (finally) starting to get warm enough that I can walk around outside in a sweatshirt so maybe I'll try spending some more time doing that, especially now that I'm back to going through podcasts and audio productions and not just listening to the same five year old Waterparks song or Love Live deep cut on a loop for a week straight.

☆ Television: I finished Drag Race US season 11 and Drag Race UK series 1 and I think I might be burnt out on it a little. I'm almost caught up though so that's great! I can't really psych myself up to watch anything else though even though I'm behind on a bunch of anime, so we'll see how that goes I guess.

☆ Writing: It's nothing really publishable, but I'm writing snippets of fanfic again, which has been fun! Some of them have been off dw100 prompts so maybe I'll end up cleaning those up and posting them. I'm hoping I can get myself back into a headspace where I can finally finish off some projects that have been sitting in my drafts for years. Hetalia finally coming back next month should hopefully help motivate me with the fic for that.

☆ Gaming: I'm gonna try to pick up Animal Crossing again for the St. Patrick's Day event. I made a lot of progress in my BioShock playthrough last week, and I preordered the new Pokemon Snap and Story of Seasons games and I'm looking forward to taking a crack at those too. I forked over the cash for a monthly pass for Love Live All Stars but it's not bringing the same levels of serotonin as it had so I may stop that after this month.

The past month has been pretty uneventful for me personal life-wise (which imo is fine because December was pretty much hell and my dad is mostly past his health issue). Mostly I've kind of been stuck in a holding pattern of wanting to create/not being able to, and running hot and cold with whatever it is I'm watching on TV. I made it through the end of season 9 of RPDR and now I'm back to toggling between The Crown and Leverage with some occasional Classic Who sprinkled in. I thought Quarantine would be easier in winter because I kind of spend this time of year cooped up inside anyway, but at least during the bulk of 2020 I could still go for walks and sit outside as a change of pace.

I've been getting back into Hetalia mostly because I'm back to tracking news/updating the wiki for it. I have some fic drafts for it I'd like to finish but I haven't really had the motivation to write even when putting myself under the pressure of fests or challenges. Even going full caveman horny brain hasn't really moved the needle on the two decidedly nsfw drafts I have (Weirdly both for Glee. I have no idea how I suddenly got re-energized for that fandom of all things this year.) It snowed today and it's supposed to snow again tomorrow, but I'm hopeful this week I can get back in the routine of regularly exercising and that might help jump start me mentally... assuming the hot water in my apartment starts working again and I don't have to drag the landlord down here to fix it.

Other random thoughts:

☆ Best Boys™: I've already fallen behind but I'm still watching a lot of anime this winter season, and it's been a reminder of past best boys and the introduction of new best boys. The fresh roster that's been living rent-free in my brain includes Yuji and Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen, Chrome from Dr. Stone, Keiichi from Higurashi When They Cry, and Reki and Langa from SK8 the Infinity. The boys from Jujutsu Kaisen especially are popular enough that I've hopeful there'll be some really fun merch I'll be able to buy of them in the future.

☆ Game Girls: I've been playing a lot of Love Live All Stars to the point I decided to pay for the monthly membership for the next month specifically, for the serotonin. My bias for the Nijigasaki girls aside, I just really like the gameplay style and story mode of this app more than the original (which I've barely touched this past year save for snagging some login bonuses). I just hope I don't overextend myself and end up burning myself out on this too.

☆ Music: If you told me a year ago that the album I'd have listened to the most at the start of 2021 was Miley Cyrus's I wouldn't have believed you. Between that, Machine Gun Kelly's album, everything Aly & AJ have done the past year and the upcoming Waterparks album I've been very happy. I wasn't a fan of the Waterparks live album though which bums me out since I actually have the bluray for that concert (which I haven't gotten around to watching yet oop). I've also been so used to listening to music by people several years older than me (or in the case of Lorde, several years younger), that it's actually kind of nice to listen to stuff by people roughly my own age (pushing 30).

☆ I had planned to do some serious writing this past weekend, but those plans got derailed and I ended up not writing anything, so as a result I've resigned to defaulting on seasonofkink for this year and trunk a couple of summer-themed fics I've been working on until next year. Considering the amount of stress from current world events this isn't a huge shock, but I'm hopeful I'll still be able to finish up those additional nordipalooza fill chapters at some point since they're mostly done. I also still have time left to finish buffyversebingo, which I can focus more on since I guess spooktoberchallenge is not happening this year. I also have a couple of autumn/halloween-themed drafts from the last couple of years I can try to finish too.

☆ The Q3 anime season is ending this week, along with my rewatches/completions of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Higurashi When They Cry. I've been collecting some brief thoughts on a running twitter thread, but suffice to say I was very surprised and impressed by the bits I hadn't seen before. In a lot of ways I actually think I enjoyed The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan more than the original show, and The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya is an actual masterpiece. And aside from the very fanservicey first episode, Higurashi When They Cry Kira was actually really solid, and Outbreak was fantastic and it bums me out that they decided to not to further explore the storyline it had set up. The remake of Higurashi is one of the shows airing next season though, and I'm excited to see what changes/improvements they make to this version.

☆ As far as other TV goes, I've been slowly making my way through Classic Who season 19. I'm enjoying it, but it's definitely a mixed bag, and the show is clearly trying to figure out what its strengths are now that Tom Baker isn't in the role anymore. I'm planning on taking a break once I'm done with the season in order to focus more on Halloween/Spooky fare for October, and it feels appropriate to watch The Five Doctors for the first time in November. (Plus, I suspect November is going to be a waking nightmare, so it'll be nice to have something to distract me from it). I've also been binge-watching Sister, Sister, and depending on how I pace it out I should be finished pretty soon. I watched the Twitches movies over Kast with some friends so I've been getting a lot of Tia and Tamera lately.

☆ My finger has basically healed completely, though its still sometimes stuff when I wake up. My depression has also come and gone in waves, and I think is less because of quarantine now and mostly because of all the terrible things happening in the world. Not forcing myself to adhere to any real specific watch/writing schedule has probably helped a little. I'm hoping that diving full force into Halloween will be what salvages my mental health for at least the next five weeks.

☆ Having a depressive episode that I suspect will pass but I can't even really motivate myself to finish off the last few episodes of this season of Wynonna Earp and season 3 of Leverage atm. I have other stuff on my watch list (most notably Blake's 7 and Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra) but I may end up playing more fast-and-loose with it because I'm remembering that binge burnout I had back in June.

☆ I've gotten some writing done this month but haven't finished anything. I keep getting hit with plot bunnies for seasonofkink involving Finn/Will from Glee of all pairings (one I haven't even thought about since the early days of that fandom) but idek if it would be worth pursing. I keep going over my unfinished drafts and I really just wanna finish something this month, especially since I wanna do Fictober again this year since I'll theoretically have the time.

☆ I accidentally sliced open my finger with a pair of scissors on Sunday and had to get stitches, which means I haven't exorcised the last few days (which I'm especially annoyed about since I'd finally gotten back into the habit). I have the greenlight to start again though and I'm hoping I'll have the mental energy tomorrow to restart that. Stitches don't come out for a couple of weeks though.

☆ I don't get hit with this feeling often since I'm mostly fine being single but I really wish I had a boyfriend (the depressive episode is only exacerbating this). The "I'm nearly 30 and I've never had an actual relationship" of it all isn't exactly helping either. I'm terrible at using apps though and a quarantine isn't conductive to meeting people so I've mostly just been stewing in it all day, which is kind of baffling since my injured finger is really the thing I should be stewing about but w/e.